I've only ever seen these done on youtube and I think it would be a really good idea to do..
In this post I'm going to talk to my 23 year old self with all the outcomes and things I want to achieve by then..
I think that's pretty much everything I want to achieve by next year, I find this easier than new years resolutions. I'd rather find ways of improving myself rather than changing myself.
See you in 2018 reacting to this post-
They say 'things have to get worse before they get better' and I never quite understood what they meant. Now its the only thing that makes sense.
Depression is such a hard subject some people won't talk about it until they've put it in the past and others throw it around just because they cried over a film. It's so much more than that so much more, its like you don't have a purpose like you don't even have a reason. Constantly feeling tired even though you've slept for days, over eating and then barely eating. It's never ending you don't know how your going to feel, the hardest thing for me is having a really good day and then having a really bad day.
Now I'm going to personal it's only happened once and I never attempted it but things got so bad that I didn't want to wake up again, I even googled how many tablets of paracetamol it would take just to end these thoughts and feelings. I never felt so low in my whole life. These are things I haven't even told my friends and family because I'd hate them to know but here I am telling the whole of the internet, you can get help and you can feel better and its important that you know that. I know what my friends/family will say when they read this they'll say 'you should have come to me' but no everybody has lives and people don't believe you. It was about 3am I was arguing with somebody and I felt the world crashing down, yet I still got up the next day and went to work. It was then the person who I was arguing with who actually cares about me said I need to see somebody before I do damage to myself.
I booked the appointment that day and told my boss I had to go, I drove to my house and met my friend who promised to come with me. I was honestly terrified, I've never felt so scared in my whole life yet all I was going to do is tell a professional what was going on in my head. The whole time I was heading there I kept thinking what a complete waste of time this is, I'm not sick and I haven't got a cold. My doctor was lovely and infact amazing he asked loads of questions and gave me what I needed, the tough bit was that he signed me off work for a month and at first it sounded great I get some time to relax and find myself again then the realisation kicked in and I thought I can't live on SSP it barely covers my car insurance.
I made a plan that I'd take the first two weeks off and have a catch up with my boss. First week was nice I caught up on some sleep and just caught up with people I hadn't seen for a while. Second week I caught up with my boss and just went over how I was feeling and if I'd missed anything which I hadn't. Then I returned back to the doctors for my catch up and things had been okay and I'd had no side effects. I then contacted my boss and set up a date for me to return back to work. It would have been lovely to have the whole month off but financially I can't and to be honest it would have made me worse in the long run.
I've had this post in my drafts and I didn't want to post it but I now feel like its time to help others. I couldn't finish this post as I wrote it so long ago I don't know how I was going to end it.
It's crazy to think we are in 2017, I feel like I honestly missed 2016. Here I am to ramble on about the good and bad of 2016..
2016 started off the worst it ever could I lost my beautiful Nan on the 2nd January. I then battled depression badly for a few months around September and I honestly didn't think depression would ever affect me but it can literally get anybody. Anyway I don't want to go on too much about the negatives because we are going on to another year.
I had some big changes in 2016 too for the better, I changed jobs from Next to an office-based job. I passed my driving test and adopted my little Polo which I am a tad obsessed with. I then crashed my beloved Polo with my two bosses in the car, this isn't the way to go about a pay rise is it?! Thankfully we was all okay and the Polo could be fixed! I also dyed my hair purple and raised over £200 for Stroke Association. I made the best of friends at work, BIG UP CS TEAM. I also have the best relationship after nearly losing it completley, I also have the best cars friends too!
I feel like I'm prepared for 2017 now and I can finally enjoy this year and try not to worry, my only resolution is to be happy and improve my car.
Over and out!
Things haven't been good, they really haven't.
I'm simply only blogging again because somebody told me too and that it might help so here it goes.
I'm the type of person who takes on our people's problems, I like it when people off load onto me if it makes them feel better. Even when I'm at breaking point if I can help somebody I will but one day you won't be able to and you have to be selfish and put yourself first this is what happened to me. I felt as if I was failing at life, I couldn't be bothered with my relationship and I wasn't interested in the same things anymore. Some days I wanted to see everybody other times I didn't even want to look at my phone. Sometime I feel high on life like nothing can ever bring me down I do stupid things at stupid times of the night like walking or driving at 3/4am. The next day I'm shattered but I can't sleep as my mind is still working and thinking about what I can do next then a few days later I'll simply crash I feel lost, depressed and lonely this is when it gets scary because I can't be bothered anymore with life or people. Nobody can cheer me out of the mood it's like I fall into a slumb.
Then the anger starts I can switch so quickly over nothing, it doesn't matter who or what. It's terrifying because I hurt the people I love and I don't even mean too. This anger isn't just shouting and screaming this is the type of anger where I want to trash my room and smash things up. I can't calm down all I do is just boil and cry because I can't control it. My top talent is pushing people away the ones who actually care about me but this is because I don't know how to deal with it.
For the last 5/6 months I've hidden all of this from friends/co-workers and even family because I just don't know what to say or people will just freak out when they realise how messed up it really is. I've been going to work and I use the excuse 'I'm tired' when really I've been out driving all night just to try and tire myself out to get some shut eye. I'd be relying on energy drinks to give me some sort of boost during the low points they'd then give me the shakes, I'd be doing my job and suddenly lose control and start crying because I'm shattered and because I can't hack it anymore and I just want somebody to take me out of here and cuddle me to sleep.
Sleeping wasn't my only trouble the next thing was eating. I used to eat loads I'd constantly be eating, craving McDonalds or KFC but now because my mind is on overdrive I literally forget to eat then when I need to eat I don't want too so I never have the energy its just like a never ending circle of problems.
I now know that it's okay not to be okay and there is help if you need it. Just be honest and real to yourself and nothing else matters.
I love these sorts of posts! I love reading what make-up wear and what there wearing so I thought I'd start this with a selfie I took from Saturday night.
First all I started with my MAC Studio Fix NW15 with Collect 2000 concealer in Fair, I think I'm the only blogger but I don't like or use the beauty blender it just doesn't work for me and I just find they use so much product, I used the Real Techniques Core Collection Buffing Brush.
I didn't wear much on my eyes I just used a mixture of Maybelline Lash Sensational and Colossal as one is thickening and the other separates the lashes.
I used W7 Bronzer out of the 'Cheeky Trio' Pallet as its not too dark for me.
On my lips I went for my absolute favourite Kylie Lip Kit in Dolce K.
My top/bodysuit is from Topshop and you can get here for only £19.
I managed to pick up this absolute steal on ebay! It's basically a copy of the NuMe styling iron but I only paid £29.99 through eBay! You can get it for yourself here.
When this was arrived I was super excited to test out the biggest barrell as I've always loved big beachy waves so that's exactly what I did. It also comes with a glove which I forgot to display in the photo's which is amazing cause I'm way too clumsy with a hot iron. The curling iron has two different heat settings and it heats up really quick, these are the sizes of the barrels..
This curling iron also comes with a UK or EU plug. I don't think I'll use the smaller ones but there defiantly handy to have.
I'm not going to go through how I curled my hair as to be honest I think we all know how too and if you don't then there are plenty of YouTube tutorials. I personally love it even more when these curls drop.
Thank you for reading! I also have another blogpost planned this week for just a quick make-up run down for a night out I went on.
Recently my style has really changed I used to be very girly but I now just wear whatever I want, I don't follow the crowd and sometimes people don't like what I wear. In this blogpost I'm going to show you who I follow and who I watch to get my outfit ideas.
I get most of my inspirations from Instagram I'm always following new people or celebs that I like the look of, my biggest inspiration is probably Kylie Jenner I love how unique she is and how she throws on pretty much anything and it looks so good. She has a very girly side but also a very sporty look. She is constantly changing her hairstyle and there isn't a look I don't love, she can honestly pull of anything! I love how she'll wear Adidas and Nike just like me and you which means we can find it if we want it.
My next big inspiration is one I actually found through Kylie Jenner and it's the beautiful Pia Mia she has similar style to Kylie but its a bit more out there. She's basically a blonde Kylie and I'm blonde *insert sassy emoji* Her almost statement look is the lumberjack shirt whether she has it on or tied around her waist. I just literally love how both these girls can throw anything together and it just works whether its super girly or completely sporty! I also just wish I had the funds to keep up with them both. At the moment Pia Mia is currently working with Missguided so you can view her SS16 top picks here.
You can follow Pia Mia on Instagram at @princesspiamia
My last inspiration I actually found through YouTube then I followed her instagram and she does a lot more makeup than fashion but she's known on YouTube as Glam&Gore but her real name is Mykie, she does a lot of unique make-up such as Frostbite Elsa which I loved and actually copied for Halloween. The main thing I love about Mykie is how different she looks in all her videos/photos she has such flawless skin and she can literally do any kind of make-up and it suits her. I don't think there is a look/style that Mykie hasn't covered and best of all she displays it all on her YouTube channel so we can follow it and do it ourselves.
You can follow Mykie on Instagram at @mykie_
You can watch Mykie at https://www.youtube.com/user/GlamAndGoreMakeup
I hope you enjoyed this blogpost as its not something I usually blog about! I will be posting more and I have a few more posts lined up for this week and they are fashion related! The reason's I have no reviews at the moment is because money is tight :( The joys of getting a new job and having to adjust to new pay dates.
Thank you for reading!
I love love love these blog posts when I can just sit and tell you anything and everything, so much has happened. January was one of the worst starts to the year for me as I lost my beautiful Nan which meant to be honest the year couldn't get any worse if it tried. I also lost my relationship which I'm not going to go into too much as I respect his privacy and its honestly not that exciting.
After having such a bad start to the year and changing myself completely even after throwing away over half my wardrobe I really just wanted to make this year the best I could even if it meant leaving the old me behind. I decided I needed a career change and this reason is going to sound so silly but one of the reasons I needed to do this was because when working in retail we had a refit and my nan was going to come into shop and come and see it but she didn't ever get the chance too and it broke my heart working there everyday as it was a constant reminder that she didn't see it. I was giving up working there, I loved the people but not the job there was nothing wrong with the job it was the timing, maybe if I hadn't of lost her I'd have stayed longer but I'll never know. I've got a new job and I only started yesterday but so far so good!
DRIVING?!! I'm a nightmare I've had so many driving lessons and even passed my theory test but I've never taken the practical but this year I've booked it and I'm ready! So hopefully I'll be on the road soon and that's literally one of the last things on my list to tick off. Me and my Dad have also given up smoking for over 2 months so we've saved loads of money and feel so much better, I've completely changed my whole life in 5 months and I'm finally starting to feel happy again. I hope she's proud of me, it still feels like yesterday.
I hope you like these blog posts I don't do them often as I don't really have much going on well I try not too but I enjoy writing it all down.
If you don't know what I'm talking about then where have you been for the last 3 months? Since these launched they have been sold out completely making them super rare and selling for ridiculous prices! I managed to get 4 out of the 8 Kylie Lipkits and here is my detailed blogpost on everything you'd possibly need to know.
First things you need to find out is when the website is restocking you can find this out many ways but I found out via Instagram by following @lavishly_luxurious and @kylielipkitupdates I had my notifications switched on for both account so every time they posted I knew about it. These two accounts are both really good to follow as they convert the time zones for you and give you hourly and minute updates which if you're that desperate to get one which I was! When you're preparing for the restock its important to know that you CANNOT pay via paypal so the best thing to do is set up autofill with your credit card details. Also make sure you put a street address in as this sounds silly but I had to amend my order and so have others as it prompts you for a house number but it will let you continue without a street name and in the heat of the moment its easy to click 'Next' and get what you want.
I already had in mind what I wanted to buy I wanted Dolce K and Candy K, I was going to try my luck for Koko K and Posie K. I ended up losing Koko K straight away as it was the newest shade at the time so I decided to go for 22 which is a bit out of my comfort zone but why not. Each lip kit is $29 which converts to roughly £20 which is amazing for two beauty products, my whole order came to around $130 which included the shipping fee's luckily I didn't get any customs charges but you might so please be prepared. After sending my order I received the confirmation email quite quickly as some people had to wait a few days but I got mine that night. It took roughly 12/13 days to arrive.
This was the box that it arrived in which is super cute and makes it feel even more special! Like I said I had no custom fees so I just picked it up from the post office and basically ran home as quick as I could. The boxes do look a bit battered now but I promise you they didn't arrive like that they were perfectly intact but they had spent some time in the bottom of my bags. The one thing I super disappointed that I didn't get was the Kylie Jenner note and I really think you should get one no matter what apparently its completely random but its disappointing that she can't put one in all of them.
Now onto the actual products! I love liquid lipsticks and I love matte so I knew these would be a win for me obviously they are drying as they are a matte shade which means they have no hydration but the longwear of them does it for me and you can always top them up with chapstick which is what Kylie actually says to do. The one downside I found to this product is that they don't have the little stopper thingy which most mascaras/lipglosses have which means you get a lot of product on the applicator which you don't really need. The one thing I do like is these products feel expensive they don't feel like the standard lipgloss, I'm not sure if the casing is glass or posh plastic but it feels a lot nicer. I find that some shades so last longer than other I find that 22 doesn't last as long as Dolce K or Candy K and I haven't fully played around enough Posie K.
My favourite shades are definitely Dolce K and Candy K and by the way for any vegan people out there all shades except Candy K which I'm not 100% sure why are vegan friendly! I think I'll reach more for 22 in the summer as its a very corally red and Posie K is very pink and I love my nudes. I will definitely be going back to buy the other 4 and possibly 5 as she's about to release another shade which looks like a pale nude.
Below I've thrown in some videos/selfies of the shades.
This is the longest blogpost I've done, I hope you've enjoyed it and it's made up for the lack of posts.
Thank you for reading!